Discomfort - Research, Making and Stress.

I have just finished reading ‘Cringeworthy‘ by Melissa Dahl to further inform my research. Within this book she explores the feeling of discomfort which we all explore when embarrassed - that tight ‘knot’ feeling we all get in our stomach which just makes us want to curl up and hide away. Along with this she also comments upon how these awkward scenarios and conversations are good for us as they help us learn. We tend to remember negative things over positive, so by embarrassing situations happening it is very true that we learn from those mistakes and definitely don’t repeat them to save ourselves from more red faced cringe attacks.

I really liked this idea of a ‘knot‘ in the stomach and would really love to explore a scultural piece within my work to present this as a visual metaphor. When I am uncomfortable I often find myself doodling massive clouds of mess, letting my pen run across the page, almost like a childs drawing. But for me this really helps release that anxiety - it is almost a visual representation of these knots which are wound up inside of me when I start to feel the embarrassment emerge. Reading Dahl‘s book allowed me to understand that this is normal, its okay to feel embarrassed because we are only human and everyone goes through thsee painful moments. It really made me want to explore this idea of ‘knots’ further - understanding moments of her embarrassing high school or work stories made it feel comforting to want to display and explore my embarrassment. However, by exploring other aspects of general discomfort by capturing photoshoots of different body positions, red faced embarrassment and personal space will be a good starting point for my project while working at home. Creating a series of work exploring any different sub themes within my project to then present within the outcomes of my project.

However, creating work from home is difficult when my materials are limited to a camera and small amounts of clay. Supplies are limited and restricted, even within research. It‘s a stressful situation to be in, however, we are back in college hopefully soon to make work. I think I worry too much, too much of a perfectionist which is someone who is a studying artist shouldn’t feel - i’m still learning and should just try these ideas instead of panicking about the final outcome. There’s no harm in experimenting with loads of different materials within a project and I think within this project I am hoping to break down that feeling of anxiety that is currently in my stomach at the thought of making work which may not work out the way I want but this is all apart of the process. Who knows, I might present a whole series of failed attempts of work but maybe now i’m just overthinking.

But my research continues, ‘Awkward’ by Ty Tashiro which will delve further into the psychology of our awkwardness. Hopefully, next week I will also create some initial imagery within some photography to get the ball rolling with my project to help develop any outstanding research but also be back in college ready to create.